Flower Of The Mind

I love Ashta – a Lebanese cream found in many of their pastries. I wanted to create a simple/easy dessert containing it and voila!

Phyllo (fillo) mini shells filled with Ashta cream sprinkled with ground pistachios & topped with an orange blossom syrup.

This light, crunchy and scented dessert will melt in your mouth and leave your taste buds craving for more.

Ingredients:

• Mini Fillo (Phyllo) Shells
• Ground raw unsalted pistachios

Ashta Cream Filling:
• 5 slices of white sandwich bread
• 2 1/4 cups of half-and-half
• 1 1/2 tablespoon of cornstarch
• 1 1/2 teaspoon of sugar
• 1/2 tablespoon of Cortas orange blossom water and/or rose water

Orange Blossom Syrup:
• 2 cups of sugar
• 1 cup of water
• 2 tablespoons of freshly squeezed/strained lemon juice
• 1/2 tablespoon of orange blossom water

I recommend using a mixing utensil that is new/clean. The Ashta cream filling and syrup will absorb any food flavors previously engrossed in wooden spoons or other extensively used utensils. You don’t want to end up with a garlic flavored dessert!

To prepare the syrup:
Dissolve the sugar with the water and mix well in a saucepan. Place over high heat and keep uncovered. Once the mixture comes to a rolling boil, leave it boil for an additional 2 minutes. Stir in the lemon juice and orange blossom water. Return to a boil for an additional 15 seconds. Remove from the heat and set aside to cool completely at room temperature.

The lemon juice added is extremely important in keeping the syrup from crystallizing when stored for longer periods. I store in the fridge for weeks.

To prepare the Ashta cream filling:
Remove and discard the crusts from the bread slices then cut the bread into 1 inch pieces. In a non-stick saucepan, combine all the ingredients and place over medium-high heat. Stir occasionally until mixture begins to bubble around the edges. Reduce the heat to medium and cook stirring constantly until nice and thick (about 3 minutes). Remove from the heat and cool completely at room temperature. Store and cool in the fridge for a couple of hours to thicken completely.

Assemble:
Fill the phyllo cups with the Ashta, sprinkle with pistachios and top with the syrup. Enjoy!

Fish:

• Your Favorite Fish: I’ve used Pacific Cod & Salmon
• Lemon Juice
• Olive Oil
• Black Pepper
• Seasoned Salt
• Cumin
• Cajun Seasoning
• Paprika

- Preheat oven to 350ºF.
- Pour lemon juice over fish in a glass baking dish.
- Brush fish with a bit of olive oil.
- Sprinkle with pepper, salt, cumin, cajun seasoning and paprika to taste.
- Bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until fish flakes easily when tested with a fork.
- Serve with your favorite sides such as rice and mixed veggies.

Avocado Sauce:

• 1 Ripe Avocado (provides generous amount for 2 servings of fish)
• 1/2 Small Lemon Juiced
• 1 tbsp (or to taste) Mustard
• Olive Oil & Seasoned Salt to Taste

- Mash Avocado and combine all other ingredients.
- Mix well and refrigerate until fish is done.

Enjoy!

Stay tuned for “You Are What You Eat” – a new section on my blog with recipes of my favorite & healthy recipes!

“I have this thing where sometimes, at random times, I would think hard about myself…to find who I am…but then I realize, I don’t know who I am…it’s like I’m out there, I exist…but I don’t really know who I am!?”

A friend, who usually reserves feelings about oneself, shared this with me. I was then asked to blog about it. Ouuuuu, a challenge!

This is how I see it.

When young and fragile, we go through a phase where we struggle to find ourselves. Eventually, we become familiar with ourselves, grow to be stronger individuals and become comfortable as well as confident in our own skin.

I believe we all hold our own philosophy – even if we don’t know it. We acquire our philosophy through; the way we were raised, our surroundings and experiences, our own values, our personal fears and our past achievements or mistakes. This philosophy defines the way we live and why we do the things we do.

We just have to pay attention in order to unearth it. We can do so easily by listening to the choices we make – noting the way we think, feel and react to everyday situations. There are motives behind these choices derived from our philosophy.

Sometimes, we tend to overly identify ourselves with our history and what made us who we are today. This mindset narrows what’s ahead of us. When we rigidly define who we are, we limit ourselves and leave no room for development.

This stops us from realizing that tapping into our philosophy and understanding the reasons of what made us who we are today should actually grant us power.

Since we’re never really one thing or another – we are continually adapting, growing and morphing – that power can help us manipulate our own evolution. We can change our unwanted habits, refine the existing or introduce new ones.

Moral of the story: We all have a philosophy and should tap into it. Instead of a static snapshot, our identity should be viewed as a continuous process. We shouldn’t limit ourselves and rigidly define who we are: we might firmly believe one thing today but, reality is, a certain experience tomorrow might present us with new insights altering our previous values. We should remain flexible, leaving room for growth. We can be whoever we want to be! We just have to envision what we want and start making the necessary choices to transform ourselves.

We’ve all heard the quote; Ignorance is bliss. Basically, what you don’t know can’t hurt you. Or, the less you know, the happier you are. I prefer the word innocence instead of ignorance. Innocence is bliss. Just take a look at children. Yeah sometimes they go through random and unexplainable tantrums, but for the most part they are innocently beautiful and blissful. Why? Their lives are simple. They live contently. Their thoughts are pure and intentions are sweet. But as they get older and become increasingly aware of their surroundings as well as the pain and suffering in the world, they lose their envied innocence.

Today’s date marks a nadir in my life; the anniversary of the day I lost a brother and a lot of my innocence. As most people do when they lose a loved one, I went through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

I feel that after we go through this process, a part of us dies. Our core involuntarily learns to calmly repress certain feelings, emotions and sensations. We end up enfolding and carrying with us a bit of bitterness. We start watching everything around us from a neutral viewpoint; accepting reality as part of what is. In a sense, we learn to betray hope.

But somehow we have to move on and continue living. Because just like Anna Nalick put it; “you can’t jump the track, we’re like cars on a cable and life’s like an hourglass, glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button.” We just have to keep on breathing.

No matter how much we want to, there’s nothing we can do to bring back our loved ones in the physical form. But I know and believe in this. Our loved ones never truly pass away. They only will once we dismiss them from our memory. And for that reason, I will always cherish my brother and his precious memories.

I found this poem while going through some of my old stuff. I wrote it back in 2003 for a High School English Class.

Remember

Darkness swells in my eyes
In my mouth words soar
Rainbows disappear in the skies
And tears start to pour

Trying to understand is not easy
How the world can be so cold
Stealing souls away very scary
Not wanting to be told

My brother we’ll always remember
In our hearts he stays
He might be gone forever
But a part of memories remains

Trying to understand is not easy
How the world can be so cold
Stealing souls away very scary
Not wanting to be told

The moon can and will rise
The sun probably will set
The world might close its eyes
But I won’t ever forget

Trying to understand is not easy
How the world can be so cold
Stealing souls away very scary
Not wanting to be told

The other day, I observed a situation that was in a sense funny yet disturbing at the same time.

A close friend of mine was being nice and invited her mom out to brunch. Let me just say that those two never had the most ideal relationship and it had been weeks before they’d seen each other. It was that time for them to reunite before the span of their separation became awkwardly awkward!? Anyways, my friend decided to tag me along. As she came to pick me up, I could see the hesitation in her eyes but I tried to reassure her that everything was going to be JUST FINE!

And so we went and had a lovely meal. We thought everything was going just fine, until an old wound was unnecessarily poked and words of agony reached someone’s lips. As the ambiance began to turn into uncomfortably weird, I reached for my wine glass, started sipping repeatedly and sat back to watch what it felt like a drama show episode. I couldn’t help but notice my friend’s interesting face expression.

She had the most disappointed look on her face as if she’d seen the upcoming moment a thousand times already. I saw her brace herself as if she heard the beeping signal as a warning. Because a moment later, her mother backed it up like a truck and verbally dumped a ton of BS stress on my friend’s shoulders.

As I swallowed my urge to giggle at my interpretation of the situation, I thought to myself: why would a parent do that? How selfish and inconsiderate?

That moment was another reason added to my list of “why to think twice before having children of my own”. Especially after the mother finished it all up with her infamous statement; “you’ll never understand until you have kids of your own, and you’re a parent. THEN you’ll understand!”

I was so distressed; it was as if I was being told those things. I became mentally defensive, yet I couldn’t really say what I was thinking. But nothing is stopping me heeeeere (sarcastic childish emphasis on here). Why would anyone intentionally bring a human into this world knowing that one day they will turn into that kind of a parent and finally “understand?!” If having children means to be transformed into a beeping monster, I don’t know about you, but NO THANKS I say!

I’m strongly driven with the idea that childhood, upbringing and our surroundings affect us and mold us into the individuals we are today. And so I think it’s a shame how many – who don’t have the slightest clue about parenting – actually procreate. There should be a law…a test that has to be taken…a video to be watched! An awakening face slap! Something! Anything! Before people have children – or as I like to say – before people allow the soldiers to be released in the cave! Let that process for a minute…say whaaaat? Yup, that’s exactly what I meant ! But seriously now, seriously! Come on people!

Anyways, let me try and erase that image I just implanted in your minds and leave you with this quote. It always grasps my attention. It reminds me that those same people who aggravate us might actually be teaching us valuable lessons…though we don’t give them much credit, if any at all.

“I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers” – Khalil Gibran

In the winter, everything dies. Or seems to. The trees lose their leaves. The grass fades. Nothing grows. Nothing is green. Logically, though, we know that it is just a period of rest.

Well, spring returned and the trees are beginning to flower again. Daffodils and tulips are blooming and soon enough, everything will come back to life.

I, myself, was in a period of rest this past winter. Beautiful and colorful new season, I welcome you! Thank you for improving my mood and reawakening my spirit.

Usually, most of us embrace this fresh season with cleaning, spring cleaning! I have a new idea this year! Forget spring cleaning! Let’s hire a maid service (or clean at night if on a budget ) and spend our precious time outdoors instead.

Come on! Go outside and smell the freshness. You know you want to! Unless you have allergies. Actually, so what?! In that case, just don’t forget your Benadryl – or whatever you take – on your way out! : ) and bless you!

Oh, how I love nature! Most of all, the beach! My awaited trip to Cancun was finally here. My plane had landed and I was already changing in my resort room.

I needed to get to that beach. I anticipated that moment for months. And that moment was about to become a reality!

The months I waited seemed like nothing compared to the elevator trip. When the door opened, I immediately felt my eyes roaming around as if I was trying to find a sincerely missed amigo.

The sound of the waves lured me towards them. I felt the breeze caressing my hair, the warmth of the sun embracing my skin and the aroma of the Caribbean Sea as I inhaled deeply. At first I felt each individually, but when my toes reached the waves of the most beautiful and pristine blue water…I was awakened with all the senses at once. It was a moment of serenity.

When you’re able to enjoy a moment like that, its memory lingers longer. And when you find yourself reminiscing it, your soul triggers your senses and you are able to relive that moment in slow motion.

To many more moments like these, cheers! Salud! See you when I’m sober…

[This post was actually written a few weeks ago...]

Have you been to prison? I’m in prison right now. It’s called Corporate America. I’m writing this on a Friday afternoon…the slowest Friday afternoon. I’m in the smallest/shortest cubicle created. I have no privacy so I’m pretending to write an e-mail. I’m surrounded with other co-workers who are equally dreading these last never ending hours. We’re all screaming internally but no one can hear us. It’s 70 degrees outside. Hasn’t been this nice in months. Yet we’re caged in this closed building, in our little workstations. Typing away and shuffling papers. I hear the printer going off. Someone is printing. It’s not me. Someone is actually working? I doubt it. It’s a map or a coupon, maybe a recipe. I’m continually glancing at the time. Not that it’s helping. It’s depressing. Think. Think. How can I make this better? Oh yeah. A month from now, right now, I’ll be on the beach! In Cancun. At least I have something to look forward to. I just deleted and retyped that last sentence a few times. It only helped pass a few seconds. This can’t be healthy. How long can I last doing this? One day, I’ll find a better way. Till that day comes, I’ll just have to somehow hold on to what’s left of my sanity.

True love. L.O.V.E. ♥. We’re all addicted!

At a young age, we’ve all been brainwashed with the idea of “true love” in fairy tales. Come on admit it, you’ve also, at one point, hoped to one day find your prince charming or enchanting princess so you can live happily ever after.

Some movies still portray this same storybook image of falling in love. You know; the falling in love uncontrollably with that one person who is meant to be with you and you alone?

We all long for that kind of love. But for most of us, striving for such a thing may leave us unfulfilled and let down. As we grow and as our relationships mature, the true layers of love start to reveal themselves and we begin to realize it’s not all that easy. Yeah sure, it can start with amazing chemistry and a mutual infatuation. But reality is that being and staying in love involves continual work and patience – even though this does not sound entirely romantic.

At times, some of the things we’d hoped for in a relationship are not manifested and we start lamenting what we don’t have. So what do we do? We seek answers from society – family, friends, and maybe even Opera and Dr. Phil and the wisdom they shower us with – and what do we get? Advice. Lots of advice.

A lot of the relationship advice out there speaks of communication and then some more communication topped with a few sprinkles of a potion known as communication. The advice mostly revolves around simply “asking for what you want.” Don’t get me wrong. Yes communication is vital in relationships and “asking for what one wants” is something lovers end up doing at one point or another. Buuuuuut in certain cases and in my opinion, I think this advice is flawed.

I mean correct me if I’m wrong; but doesn’t asking for what we want kind of defeats the whole purpose??? Because what we actually yearn for is this internal satisfaction of feeling significant. And this is only met by our partners  spontaneously expressing – whatever it is we want – solely on their own. Through their sincere adoration derived from within their core, definitely NOT through our commands!

I say; stay away from the whole asking business as much as possible. If you’re not receiving what you desire, demonstrate! Show your loved one what you’d like to receive instead of requesting it. When you feel dissatisfaction, pause and think about it. Maybe your partner shares the same feeling. It’s not a one way highway so treat your significant other the way you anticipate him or her to treat you.

Yes, love is not entirely the same as in fairy tales and movies but that doesn’t mean it can’t be romantic, passionate, spontaneous or amazing. If you accept where you are and how you got here, you’ll finally manifest the abundance that you crave. Show gestures that leave your other feeling valued, important and loved. You will only receive the same in return. Because in the end, everybody wants to love and everybody wants to be loved!