Flower Of The Mind

“I have this thing where sometimes, at random times, I would think hard about myself…to find who I am…but then I realize, I don’t know who I am…it’s like I’m out there, I exist…but I don’t really know who I am!?”

A friend, who usually reserves feelings about oneself, shared this with me. I was then asked to blog about it. Ouuuuu, a challenge!

This is how I see it.

When young and fragile, we go through a phase where we struggle to find ourselves. Eventually, we become familiar with ourselves, grow to be stronger individuals and become comfortable as well as confident in our own skin.

I believe we all hold our own philosophy – even if we don’t know it. We acquire our philosophy through; the way we were raised, our surroundings and experiences, our own values, our personal fears and our past achievements or mistakes. This philosophy defines the way we live and why we do the things we do.

We just have to pay attention in order to unearth it. We can do so easily by listening to the choices we make – noting the way we think, feel and react to everyday situations. There are motives behind these choices derived from our philosophy.

Sometimes, we tend to overly identify ourselves with our history and what made us who we are today. This mindset narrows what’s ahead of us. When we rigidly define who we are, we limit ourselves and leave no room for development.

This stops us from realizing that tapping into our philosophy and understanding the reasons of what made us who we are today should actually grant us power.

Since we’re never really one thing or another – we are continually adapting, growing and morphing – that power can help us manipulate our own evolution. We can change our unwanted habits, refine the existing or introduce new ones.

Moral of the story: We all have a philosophy and should tap into it. Instead of a static snapshot, our identity should be viewed as a continuous process. We shouldn’t limit ourselves and rigidly define who we are: we might firmly believe one thing today but, reality is, a certain experience tomorrow might present us with new insights altering our previous values. We should remain flexible, leaving room for growth. We can be whoever we want to be! We just have to envision what we want and start making the necessary choices to transform ourselves.

"Pleasure is the flower that passes; remembrance, the lasting perfume." - Jean de Boufflers.

We’ve all heard the quote; Ignorance is bliss. Basically, what you don’t know can’t hurt you. Or, the less you know, the happier you are. I prefer the word innocence instead of ignorance. Innocence is bliss. Just take a look at children. Yeah sometimes they go through random and unexplainable tantrums, but for the most part they are innocently beautiful and blissful. Why? Their lives are simple. They live contently. Their thoughts are pure and intentions are sweet. But as they get older and become increasingly aware of their surroundings as well as the pain and suffering in the world, they lose their envied innocence.

Today’s date marks a nadir in my life; the anniversary of the day I lost a brother and a lot of my innocence. As most people do when they lose a loved one, I went through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

I feel that after we go through this process, a part of us dies. Our core involuntarily learns to calmly repress certain feelings, emotions and sensations. We end up enfolding and carrying with us a bit of bitterness. We start watching everything around us from a neutral viewpoint; accepting reality as part of what is. In a sense, we learn to betray hope.

But somehow we have to move on and continue living. Because just like Anna Nalick put it; “you can’t jump the track, we’re like cars on a cable and life’s like an hourglass, glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button.” We just have to keep on breathing.

No matter how much we want to, there’s nothing we can do to bring back our loved ones in the physical form. But I know and believe in this. Our loved ones never truly pass away. They only will once we dismiss them from our memory. And for that reason, I will always cherish my brother and his precious memories.

I found this poem while going through some of my old stuff. I wrote it back in 2003 for a High School English Class.

Remember

Darkness swells in my eyes
In my mouth words soar
Rainbows disappear in the skies
And tears start to pour

Trying to understand is not easy
How the world can be so cold
Stealing souls away very scary
Not wanting to be told

My brother we’ll always remember
In our hearts he stays
He might be gone forever
But a part of memories remains

Trying to understand is not easy
How the world can be so cold
Stealing souls away very scary
Not wanting to be told

The moon can and will rise
The sun probably will set
The world might close its eyes
But I won’t ever forget

Trying to understand is not easy
How the world can be so cold
Stealing souls away very scary
Not wanting to be told

Photo Taken By: DC Digital Photography

Do you know that in the blink of an eye, a thousand thoughts are released in our minds? Yet, only one gets processed in our conscious mind and the rest are lost in the subconscious mind? These thoughts become feelings, emotions, desires, fantasies or multi-realities. As a result, we make impulsive decisions, communicate poorly and create stressful situations for ourselves. Instead of mastering our minds, our minds and thoughts master us.

I’ve learned that in a Kundalini Yoga class. If you don’t know of this type of yoga, it’s known as the Yoga of Awareness as taught by the Indian Master Yogi  Bhajan. It is an ancient system which uses several techniques and focuses on the balance and clarity of the mind.

Kundalini Yoga teaches many techniques but the simplest I’ve come to appreciate are meditation and breathing.

Just like a daily shower to clean the body, meditation cleans the mind. Most of us  lose our focus because our mind drifts and becomes unconscious with daydreams and unintentional thoughts. Meditation clears the subconscious and helps keep our clarity. And just as sun is energy, breath is life. Its depth, rate and pattern are correlated with our moods and level of energy. So breathing can be used to change them.

If you’ve never tried it, meditation can be intimidating. How do I usually meditate? It’s really as simple as sitting alone in a quiet place where there are no distractions. I like to turn on relaxing music and sit in the traditional cross legged posture, but any comfortable position will do as long as the back is straight. I close my eyes and focus on my breath, letting go of all thoughts and worries with every exhale, until the mind is clear and calm.

You should try it! Because in meditation, you begin to realize that there is a world of your mind and a world of your own. In your world, in your identity, you are in control. And only when you are in control, your mind, which can be a beast of its own, is tamed and forced to be your servant instead of your master!