Flower Of The Mind

"Pleasure is the flower that passes; remembrance, the lasting perfume." - Jean de Boufflers.

We’ve all heard the quote; Ignorance is bliss. Basically, what you don’t know can’t hurt you. Or, the less you know, the happier you are. I prefer the word innocence instead of ignorance. Innocence is bliss. Just take a look at children. Yeah sometimes they go through random and unexplainable tantrums, but for the most part they are innocently beautiful and blissful. Why? Their lives are simple. They live contently. Their thoughts are pure and intentions are sweet. But as they get older and become increasingly aware of their surroundings as well as the pain and suffering in the world, they lose their envied innocence.

Today’s date marks a nadir in my life; the anniversary of the day I lost a brother and a lot of my innocence. As most people do when they lose a loved one, I went through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

I feel that after we go through this process, a part of us dies. Our core involuntarily learns to calmly repress certain feelings, emotions and sensations. We end up enfolding and carrying with us a bit of bitterness. We start watching everything around us from a neutral viewpoint; accepting reality as part of what is. In a sense, we learn to betray hope.

But somehow we have to move on and continue living. Because just like Anna Nalick put it; “you can’t jump the track, we’re like cars on a cable and life’s like an hourglass, glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button.” We just have to keep on breathing.

No matter how much we want to, there’s nothing we can do to bring back our loved ones in the physical form. But I know and believe in this. Our loved ones never truly pass away. They only will once we dismiss them from our memory. And for that reason, I will always cherish my brother and his precious memories.

I found this poem while going through some of my old stuff. I wrote it back in 2003 for a High School English Class.

Remember

Darkness swells in my eyes
In my mouth words soar
Rainbows disappear in the skies
And tears start to pour

Trying to understand is not easy
How the world can be so cold
Stealing souls away very scary
Not wanting to be told

My brother we’ll always remember
In our hearts he stays
He might be gone forever
But a part of memories remains

Trying to understand is not easy
How the world can be so cold
Stealing souls away very scary
Not wanting to be told

The moon can and will rise
The sun probably will set
The world might close its eyes
But I won’t ever forget

Trying to understand is not easy
How the world can be so cold
Stealing souls away very scary
Not wanting to be told

Cancun

Oh, how I love nature! Most of all, the beach! My awaited trip to Cancun was finally here. My plane had landed and I was already changing in my resort room.

I needed to get to that beach. I anticipated that moment for months. And that moment was about to become a reality!

The months I waited seemed like nothing compared to the elevator trip. When the door opened, I immediately felt my eyes roaming around as if I was trying to find a sincerely missed amigo.

The sound of the waves lured me towards them. I felt the breeze caressing my hair, the warmth of the sun embracing my skin and the aroma of the Caribbean Sea as I inhaled deeply. At first I felt each individually, but when my toes reached the waves of the most beautiful and pristine blue water…I was awakened with all the senses at once. It was a moment of serenity.

When you’re able to enjoy a moment like that, its memory lingers longer. And when you find yourself reminiscing it, your soul triggers your senses and you are able to relive that moment in slow motion.

To many more moments like these, cheers! Salud! See you when I’m sober…

True love. L.O.V.E. ♥. We’re all addicted!

At a young age, we’ve all been brainwashed with the idea of “true love” in fairy tales. Come on admit it, you’ve also, at one point, hoped to one day find your prince charming or enchanting princess so you can live happily ever after.

Some movies still portray this same storybook image of falling in love. You know; the falling in love uncontrollably with that one person who is meant to be with you and you alone?

We all long for that kind of love. But for most of us, striving for such a thing may leave us unfulfilled and let down. As we grow and as our relationships mature, the true layers of love start to reveal themselves and we begin to realize it’s not all that easy. Yeah sure, it can start with amazing chemistry and a mutual infatuation. But reality is that being and staying in love involves continual work and patience – even though this does not sound entirely romantic.

At times, some of the things we’d hoped for in a relationship are not manifested and we start lamenting what we don’t have. So what do we do? We seek answers from society – family, friends, and maybe even Opera and Dr. Phil and the wisdom they shower us with – and what do we get? Advice. Lots of advice.

A lot of the relationship advice out there speaks of communication and then some more communication topped with a few sprinkles of a potion known as communication. The advice mostly revolves around simply “asking for what you want.” Don’t get me wrong. Yes communication is vital in relationships and “asking for what one wants” is something lovers end up doing at one point or another. Buuuuuut in certain cases and in my opinion, I think this advice is flawed.

I mean correct me if I’m wrong; but doesn’t asking for what we want kind of defeats the whole purpose??? Because what we actually yearn for is this internal satisfaction of feeling significant. And this is only met by our partners  spontaneously expressing – whatever it is we want – solely on their own. Through their sincere adoration derived from within their core, definitely NOT through our commands!

I say; stay away from the whole asking business as much as possible. If you’re not receiving what you desire, demonstrate! Show your loved one what you’d like to receive instead of requesting it. When you feel dissatisfaction, pause and think about it. Maybe your partner shares the same feeling. It’s not a one way highway so treat your significant other the way you anticipate him or her to treat you.

Yes, love is not entirely the same as in fairy tales and movies but that doesn’t mean it can’t be romantic, passionate, spontaneous or amazing. If you accept where you are and how you got here, you’ll finally manifest the abundance that you crave. Show gestures that leave your other feeling valued, important and loved. You will only receive the same in return. Because in the end, everybody wants to love and everybody wants to be loved!

Do you find yourself easily irritated? Do some people just drive you crazy??? Maybe it’s that person driving 5 miles per hour under the speed limit, the fact that some co-workers love to heat up fish in the microwave or maybe it’s how your mother-in-law always finds something to whine about.

Deep inside, we feel these people are just violating common sense and therefore must be incompetent! As our fury accumulates overtime, our subconscious mind constructs this mental figure of ourselves as invincible superior beings.

Until one day when you’re driving home and your phone vibrates. You find yourself checking your messages and then notice you’re going 5 miles under the speed limit as an irritated driver passes you. You hide as that mental figure comes tumbling down. You realize, you’re just a regular good old stupid human being!

OK…(dramatic DJ backspin) that’s not really where I was going with this. Buuuuut….the last paragraph does have a point: No one is perfect or at least at all times : )

What I’m really trying to get to is this.

Sometimes, we get so caught up being irritated with the people around us or other contributing factors in our lives — could be silly annoyances like ones mentioned above or things on a deeper level — that we lose focus. We lose sight of our purpose. We find ourselves complaining and not really doing much else. Our mind can be a beast of its own; instead of patiently accepting reality, it acts spontaneously and independently shifting us away from our path. We need to learn how to tame this beast. Instead of letting it distract us with all that  nonsense, we need to guide our mind back to our chosen path.

Today I subtly observed how perceptions influenced the people around me. I noted how typically, the way others perceive us differs from the way we identify ourselves and how frequently we let others’ perceptions dictate us.

Sometimes, we take the positive reactions we receive from others for granted. Pride takes over and tells us: “we’re great! we’re awesome!” We start expecting the same reactions from everyone else. Our weaknesses or imperfections start to fade away until we even stop looking in the mirror for an occasional tune-up. And so, if someone doesn’t respond to us with the same amount of enthusiasm, we are doomed with shock.

Or it could be the other way around. It could be that we are instilled with so much negativity that we only focus on our flaws.  Our mind gets in the habit of deflating our strengths and abilities causing us to never seek out our talents. And whenever we receive a compliment, we find ourselves surprised.

Today I was reminded of a moment in my life where I had a mini epiphany. At one point in my younger days, someone’s perception of me came along which was a bit more powerful than the rest. It made me pause, step back and mentally say: “wait a minute!? what was that!?” But I gently ignored that thought and went about my merry way.

Little did I know, that thought simmered in my mind all day and later that evening when the curtains were closed – an idea came to mind. What if I were to make two lists; one of my self-perceptions and the second of others’ perceptions? And so I did. The first list was easy to fill but the second…a bit more limiting. As I struggled to come up with some content, I came to a realization. Well nothing I didn’t already know, I guess it was more of a confirmation.  Even if the others could guess a few of the points I made in my self-perceptions list, they couldn’t possibly see me in a way that “truly” represents MOI?! It’s simply because they haven’t walked in my shoes. I am the one who traveled through my journey, felt the joys or pains of my experiences, once actually was in my memories! That realization penetrated a sense of recognition in myself. I understood that looking inside and being satisfied with myself was what really mattered.

Not only did that boost my confidence but left me more compassionate towards others.

Deep down we all know this, but it bears repeating: If you allow someone’s perception of you to dictate or define you, then you don’t own yourself. You are the only one who can create reality, unless you give your power away. Don’t give your power away. Own Yourself!