Flower Of The Mind

The other day, I observed a situation that was in a sense funny yet disturbing at the same time.

A close friend of mine was being nice and invited her mom out to brunch. Let me just say that those two never had the most ideal relationship and it had been weeks before they’d seen each other. It was that time for them to reunite before the span of their separation became awkwardly awkward!? Anyways, my friend decided to tag me along. As she came to pick me up, I could see the hesitation in her eyes but I tried to reassure her that everything was going to be JUST FINE!

And so we went and had a lovely meal. We thought everything was going just fine, until an old wound was unnecessarily poked and words of agony reached someone’s lips. As the ambiance began to turn into uncomfortably weird, I reached for my wine glass, started sipping repeatedly and sat back to watch what it felt like a drama show episode. I couldn’t help but notice my friend’s interesting face expression.

She had the most disappointed look on her face as if she’d seen the upcoming moment a thousand times already. I saw her brace herself as if she heard the beeping signal as a warning. Because a moment later, her mother backed it up like a truck and verbally dumped a ton of BS stress on my friend’s shoulders.

As I swallowed my urge to giggle at my interpretation of the situation, I thought to myself: why would a parent do that? How selfish and inconsiderate?

That moment was another reason added to my list of “why to think twice before having children of my own”. Especially after the mother finished it all up with her infamous statement; “you’ll never understand until you have kids of your own, and you’re a parent. THEN you’ll understand!”

I was so distressed; it was as if I was being told those things. I became mentally defensive, yet I couldn’t really say what I was thinking. But nothing is stopping me heeeeere (sarcastic childish emphasis on here). Why would anyone intentionally bring a human into this world knowing that one day they will turn into that kind of a parent and finally “understand?!” If having children means to be transformed into a beeping monster, I don’t know about you, but NO THANKS I say!

I’m strongly driven with the idea that childhood, upbringing and our surroundings affect us and mold us into the individuals we are today. And so I think it’s a shame how many – who don’t have the slightest clue about parenting – actually procreate. There should be a law…a test that has to be taken…a video to be watched! An awakening face slap! Something! Anything! Before people have children – or as I like to say – before people allow the soldiers to be released in the cave! Let that process for a minute…say whaaaat? Yup, that’s exactly what I meant ! But seriously now, seriously! Come on people!

Anyways, let me try and erase that image I just implanted in your minds and leave you with this quote. It always grasps my attention. It reminds me that those same people who aggravate us might actually be teaching us valuable lessons…though we don’t give them much credit, if any at all.

“I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers” – Khalil Gibran

Photo Taken By: DC Digital Photography

Do you know that in the blink of an eye, a thousand thoughts are released in our minds? Yet, only one gets processed in our conscious mind and the rest are lost in the subconscious mind? These thoughts become feelings, emotions, desires, fantasies or multi-realities. As a result, we make impulsive decisions, communicate poorly and create stressful situations for ourselves. Instead of mastering our minds, our minds and thoughts master us.

I’ve learned that in a Kundalini Yoga class. If you don’t know of this type of yoga, it’s known as the Yoga of Awareness as taught by the Indian Master Yogi  Bhajan. It is an ancient system which uses several techniques and focuses on the balance and clarity of the mind.

Kundalini Yoga teaches many techniques but the simplest I’ve come to appreciate are meditation and breathing.

Just like a daily shower to clean the body, meditation cleans the mind. Most of us  lose our focus because our mind drifts and becomes unconscious with daydreams and unintentional thoughts. Meditation clears the subconscious and helps keep our clarity. And just as sun is energy, breath is life. Its depth, rate and pattern are correlated with our moods and level of energy. So breathing can be used to change them.

If you’ve never tried it, meditation can be intimidating. How do I usually meditate? It’s really as simple as sitting alone in a quiet place where there are no distractions. I like to turn on relaxing music and sit in the traditional cross legged posture, but any comfortable position will do as long as the back is straight. I close my eyes and focus on my breath, letting go of all thoughts and worries with every exhale, until the mind is clear and calm.

You should try it! Because in meditation, you begin to realize that there is a world of your mind and a world of your own. In your world, in your identity, you are in control. And only when you are in control, your mind, which can be a beast of its own, is tamed and forced to be your servant instead of your master!